Help for the Holidays

How can we rest in God at our family gatherings?

The holidays can be great times of seeing and celebrating with family. But they can also be difficult, challenging, stressful, and painful. One of the best tools I have found for navigating this reality is the 4Gs. The 4Gs are four truths about God that each start with "G". As you travel to a family gathering, you can go over these four truths to ground you in the reality of who God is as you enter that time. You can also take pauses during it to remind yourself of what's true about God even in the midst of what might be hard and painful. Here are the four Gs with questions you can ask yourself:

• God is great, so I don’t have to be in control. What am I trying to control?
• God is glorious, so I don’t have to fear others. Who am I afraid of - whose approval do I want?
• God is good, so I don’t have to look for satisfaction elsewhere. Where am I looking for comfort, relief, and fullness?
• God is gracious, so I don’t have to prove myself. How am I trying to prove myself, to whom, and what am I trying to prove?

Another tool I find helpful is identifying my "if onlys". When I am having big emotions like stress, anxiety, fear, anger, or sadness, there is usually an "if only" fueling those feelings. The feelings aren't bad, but they tell us that something that we desire and that is important to us isn't happening. When you are feeling this way, pause and consider: "What 'if only' is fueling my feelings?" Here are a few examples:

• If only they didn't critique my parenting.
• If only they understood.
• If only they'd communicate better.
• If only this was easier.

Then ask yourself: "What do I want from this 'if only'?" "If only [blank], then [blank]." Now that you know what you want, you can turn to God as a better source for that. Perhaps you want peace or approval or love or significance. Turn to God for those things. He is a better source than your "if only".

May God grant you the power and strength to comprehend his limitless love for you this holiday season (Ephesians 3:14-19).